my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize