I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
