I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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