It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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