I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize