Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
