i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
