you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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