Quick, to the slutcave!
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize