I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
