I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
there is glitter all over my balls
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