Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
