that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
