4 words: hood of his car
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
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