He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
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