O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
