I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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