he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
