U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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