The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
