honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
