So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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