she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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