My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
