i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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