Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
