all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
