so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
