u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
