About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
