Me. At least after what I've been through.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
