I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
