The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
