im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
