I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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