my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
