But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
