Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
