Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
