If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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