yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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