Where is the hickey?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
