At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
