Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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