Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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