Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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