is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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