wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
