he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
