so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
