Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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