What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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