do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
After tacos, we're chasing women.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
