So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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