So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
