well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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